Holiday Fun

On the Naughty List? NYC’s Best NSFW Holiday Parties and Pop-Ups

’Tis the season to get a little wild.

Photo by Mark Shelby Perry/Courtesy of Nutcracker Rouge

Sure, you could spend Christmas on the couch watching Hallmark movies or New Year’s Eve at the same crowded bar you’ve gone to for the past five years. Or you can willingly sign yourself over to Santa’s naughty list and get a little wild this holiday season.

Donner & Blitzen’s Reindeer Lounge

Don your holiday gear and come get blitzed,” encourage the organizers of this event, which is taking over Greenpoint’s hip cocktail lounge the Springs with a candy cane wall, four grand fireplaces, a blinding amount of Christmas lights, and seriously strong holiday-themed drinks. You’ll have to ask for Grandpa’s forgiveness after one Cran’ma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (with Michter’s straight rye, cranberry, and rosemary), and the Nog-Gonna Make It to Work Tomorrow is certainly not HR friendly. For the Festivus fan, here’s your chance to air your grievances with a hot cocktail of the same name, made with mulled wine, cognac, and cider. Through Sunday, December 30; The Springs, 224 Franklin Street, Greenpoint

holiday parties
This wicked-good cocktail won’t drink itself. / Photo courtesy of Reindeer Lounge

Dirty Thursday Office Holiday Party

It’s a good thing this festive shindig isn’t happening in your actual office. Bring that 9-to-5 energy to House of Yes, where for one night only you can dance with the guys and gals over in accounting and drink something a little stronger than coffee—and actually want to stay overtime. Just don’t forget to wear business casual—best-dressed employee gets first prize (free drinks, not a paycheck). Thursday, December 20; 10 p.m.; 2 Wyckoff Avenue, Bushwick; Free

Helliday Inn

One trip here will shoot your name straight to the top of the naughty list. The Skinny’s antiholiday take on the typical Christmas party will have everyone on their worst behavior: singing dirty carols, speed dating during a round of Sleigh and Lay, and having a photo op with a miserable Kris Kringle. The absurd affair promises tacky decorations and offerings to help play up the ongoing growth of commercialization, like Santa’s Wheel of Misfortune, where patrons pay more for a better chance at losing than winning. (We’re unsure of the prize; coal, perhaps?) Through Thursday, January 31, 2019; The Skinny, 74 Orchard Street (between Stanton and East Houston Streets), East Village

holiday parties
This is what all that list making can do to a person. / Photo courtesy of Helliday

NYE 2019 Burlesque Party at Yotel

Defined as an evening of “glamour, sensuality, dancing, and sultry burlesque,” the Bon Bon Burlesque New Year’s Eve Party promises all things provocative, with burlesque cabaret performances, “sensual surprises,” and soloists who will have you begging for more. And the four-hour open bar isn’t a bad touch. Monday, December 31; 8 p.m.–2 a.m.; Yotel, 570 Tenth Avenue (between West 41st and 42nd Streets), Midtown West; $140

holiday parties
Did someone say sensual surprises? / Photo by Marlyn Ortiz/Courtesy of Yotel

The New Year’s Eve Illuminati Ball

No, you won’t be joining a cult, but you might feel like you are. This intense Illuminati-themed immersive experience isn’t for the faint of heart by any means. If you don’t like being taken to secret locations, participating in risqué rituals, or drinking milk served by hoofed maidens (trust me, you have to read for yourself), then this avant-garde masquerade party might not be your cup of tea. But if you want to celebrate the new year with sultry sirens, gravity-defying aerialists, and similar folk who enjoy all-night open bars, you should absolutely splurge on this. Dress to impress and prepare for things that can’t be unseen. Monday, December 31; 9 p.m.–1 a.m.; at an undisclosed location; General: $200, VIP: $400

holiday parties
Photo Courtesy of the Illuminati Ball

Dress to impress and prepare for things that can’t be unseen.

Nutcracker Rouge

Sorry, you won’t find your childhood Sugar Plum Fairy here. What you will discover is an erotic reimagining of a classic unlike any you’ve seen before. Sexy, sensual, and seriously stunning, Nutcracker Rouge might be more performance than a party, but its opulence, glamour, and exceptional showmanship earns it a spot on the list. Part circus, part musical performance, part high fashion flair: Company XIV knows what an audience wants for Christmas. Through Sunday, January 13; 383 Troutman Street, Bushwick; tickets start at $75

holiday parties
When is the last time something dirty didn’t happen under lavender lighting? / Photo by Mark Shelby Perry/Courtesy of Nutcracker Rouge

New Year’s: Nowadays Nonstop

And finally, the party of all parties. As the name suggests, when they say nonstop, they mean nonstop: The party starts at 10 p.m. and ends, well, “whenever it’s done.” Don’t expect an empty DJ booth at any point throughout the night; this Bushwick backward space has a musical lineup (Beta Librae, Physical Therapy, Theo Parrish, and more) that will keep you on the dance floor until your legs go numb. And don’t worry about being numb from cold. A sauna will be set up and fire pits will be lit, as we predict the rest of your night will be. Monday, December 31; 10 p.m.; 56-06 Cooper Avenue, Bushwick; $45 (entry after 2 p.m. on New Year’s Day: $22.50)

holiday parties
Getting the party started—until forever. / Photo by Victor Garzon/Courtesy of Nowadays

We can take care of your plans, no matter how naughty or nice they are.