Maybe you want to play up the drama. Maybe you need a fast getaway. Or perhaps you prefer a quiet spot where your soon-to-be ex can’t make a scene. Whatever atmosphere your breakup requires, we’re here to help.
Our senior editor and dining and drinking expert, Jess Bender, chose the food and shopping hall as the place to break the news to a beau who was not cutting the (artisanal, fresh-ground) mustard. Her reasoning: The impersonal scene at Chelsea Market includes plenty of witnesses, a lot of opportunities to slip away into the crowd afterward, and semidecent bathrooms in which to splash water on your face.
Bowery Hotel Lobby
No one would dare make a scene in the ultrachic lobby of this downtown scenester hotel, making it the perfect spot to break bad news. Sink into the plush leather and velvet chairs by the roaring fireplace, have the talk, then toss your love letters into the flames. (Find more bars with memento-burning hearths here.)
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The Pier Behind Fairway Market in Red Hook
During the winter months, the tip of the Beard Street Pier is wind-whipped from every direction, making it one of the coldest locales in New York City. You’ll be so freezing that both of you will want to get the breakup over with as quickly as possible. Plus, the sweeping views of the New York Harbor and Statue of Liberty make it a satisfyingly dramatic place to weep afterward. (Red Hook’s Valentino Pier will do the trick, as well.)
The TKTS Red Steps in Times Square
Talk about an easy escape. Times Square is the messy, beating heart of the city’s subway system, so you can hop on whatever train you need immediately after the deed. Costumed Minnie Mouses and Elmos add an appropriately garish sad-clown flair to the affair.
What better spot for your spurned lover to self-comfort than at the Doughnut Plant, home of the decadent Brooklyn Blackout, a rich chocolate cake doughnut dipped in Valrhona chocolate, with a chocolate pudding filling and sprinkled with chocolate cake crumbs. Trust us, your ex will be feeling better in no time. In fact, WSWD contributor Annie Grossman says the Doughnut Plant saved her life after a tragedy.
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If you’re worried about how your S.O. will handle the news, cut things off in this peaceful midtown oasis. The sound and sight of the 20-foot waterfall might ease his or her anxiety attack.
Gallery 639 at the Metropolitan Museum of Art
Looking for a memorable (and maybe vengeful) spot to end to your relationship? Lure your lover to this second-floor room in the European Paintings, 1250–1800 wing. There hangs this painting of Salome looking smugly down at the head of St. John, freshly removed from his body and dripping blood over a silver platter.
Is there a more apt location to reflect on love and loss (OK, mostly loss) than a burial ground? Brooklyn’s Green-Wood is filled with tons of gothically gorgeous nooks that will lend your breakup the necessary air of finality. We recommend inside the Historic Chapel, an NYC landmark, or on a bench around the Valley Water pond, surrounded by tombstones and mausoleums.